Friday, October 3, 2008

When a man is mean to his woman...

When a man is mean to his woman;


he destroys a very part of her soul that is everything tender.

He replaces tenderness with fear and mistrust. No matter how hard he works at it later, it takes repeated amounts of energy on his part to fix that kind of damage.


When a man is mean to his woman; she stops feeling pretty and wanted, she starts feeling unwanted and even ugly. Even if she is a pretty confident person, the meanness robs her of her equilibrium and shakes her to her very core. She has to work double time to get back on her feet.

Each and every woman has a gentle core, a soft underbelly.

She wants to forgive and move on, yet when she forgives someone who is mean to her, she fears. If she forgives her man more then once for being mean, she starts to doubt herself and then begins to shut off this delicate gentle tender core.

Everyone suffers when a woman shuts down her tenderness, there is no tragedy greater then a woman with no tenderness…………….second only to the tragedy that a man caused it.


The sadness on a woman’s face makes us all want to cry. I am overcome with the sadness in the faces of these women.







Saturday, September 20, 2008


Sooooo….my husband gets this magazine that he just loves, Best Life -What Matters to Men.


I saw it sitting on the dining room table and I leafed through the pages and saw this article by author Anne Trubek. Fully Bonded – Improve intimacy so that your marriage can survive the long haul.


Here we have Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, David Schnarch, PhD, ( I am not sure if I want to trust a sex therapist, certified ot otherwise, whose last name is ‘Schnarch”). Schnarch is the author of Sex, Love and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships. Schnarch says, “Eye contact is absolutely essential to maintaining intimacy in a relationship, even during sex.”


What??? I am too busy with my eyes slammed shut to be looking at him! I’ll admit that sometimes I take a peek at my husband during this, the most intimate of times, and maybe once or twice in a about 30 years have we ever made any type of prolonged eye contact during, uh, you know, the ‘hippity dippity’. I don’t know about you, but, I am just not so sure.


Do you have to have an intimate gaze at that time? I mean, do real live people even look at each other, or is it just me that is so busy enjoying myself that I don’t like to open my eyes as I can see the messy bedroom, the picture of the kids, the dog looking at me (no I am kidding, LOL) etc…. How about you? Do you have eye contact during sex?


Here are other ways to improve intimacy according to Trubek;


Lock Lips, kissing releases oxytocin which in return decreases stress and makes us feel bonded.


Make Small Connections, everyday we have the opportunity to do small things that show that we care, cuddling, calling during the day and being happy to see each other with a kiss or more when you greet each other.


Open your Eyes, again Snarch says, “Eye contact usually denotes connection and sex without eye contact and the lights on (regularly?) limits your intimacy.


Fight it Out, Conflict creates passion. The absence of fighting is NOT intimacy. When you vent your frustration make sure that you are planning something afterwards that will produce endorphins and help you reconnect. My advice to this is to make sure that you fight fair! No put downs and no rudeness. Don’t say something that you would not want said to you. (easier said than done I know)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

the pain is great sometimes.....

I cant bear to go to the doors, because when I leave I am forced to look….I am forced as a moth to the flame…are his scratchings still there? His joy and his pride still evident in the rock? I cant bear it. I am overcome with a grief still that is debilitating at times.

Tuffy’s first words, were ‘UVSC HOCKEY’ scratched in that rock as he waited for me to finish in a meeting, at the student center, he was so proud and I always look and my heart breaks. It was what he knew. He loved to be a part of it and he was as proud as his momma and poppa were. It is all over now and he doesn’t understand, where are the guys that were his friends? Where are the halo players and the trips and the games?

I am grieving too, still, I can’t seem to help myself. The pain sometimes is raw and fresh….

Monday, September 15, 2008

ok, ok, it is time for a little bit of lightening up...Apples and Wine

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......


The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.


Now Men....Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

I am sad about wasted time....


As I sat here on this Sunday morning and contemplate my life, which has become vastly different in the last 3 months….

I emailed a few of my friends to touch base, worked on some home work
and was just thinking….

Many of you know that I devoted 3 years of my life, along with my husband, to building a hockey team at Utah Valley State College. I was the General Manager and my husband was the Head Coach.

We are proud of the work that we did. We were instrumental in building a team that became a powerhouse in the state of Utah and was respected all across the country, even North America.

But now I am no longer involved…politics and drama robbed me, (both of us) of my goal, dream and my wonderful job.

I sit here this morning and ask myself, what was all this worth??? I find many questions, few answers.

I thought that I was making a difference, but when someone came in and took that away…what difference was I making, really???

The major sponsors of the team, who are no longer sponsors, are heartsick. They stood by us through thick and thin and made sure that we had the money to make this team something special. They are good, moral, wonderful people.

For the past year now they have been working hard to launch a new company and I am very impressed with this company.

Not only do I know the owners personally, have had dinner in their homes, been to their children’s birthday parties, worked side by side with them on hockey, but I know them as people who want to make a difference.

That is what impresses me about this new company. They are building this company, one day at a time, at great personal and financial sacrifice to themselves, because they believe in what they are doing and I believe in it too. Please take a few minutes and read further….

http://trivani.us/ --The below is taken from their website:

Home
Trivani™ is the world’s first Purpose Marketing™ company, using the power and profit of network marketing to provide ongoing humanitarian aid around the world. Trivani’s unique business model consists of two distinct but closely intertwined entities: Trivani International and the Trivani Foundation. This business model helps Trivani fulfill its humanitarian goals through three main missions: Purpose, Health, and Prosperity.
PurposePurpose represents Trivani’s humanitarian goals and efforts. As a Trivani customer or distributor, a portion of every Trivani purchase you make goes towards a Trivani Foundation project. In addition, you can donate to a project of your choice at any time when you visit the Foundation website—regardless of your position at Trivani.
HealthHealth represents Trivani’s dedication to safe and effective consumer products. Trivani’s innovative, high-science products are some of the very best in health and personal care, following our unique Do No Harm Philosophy™, which ensures that every Trivani product is safe for you, your family, and the environment.
ProsperityProsperity represents Trivani’s unique business opportunity. With a Trivani business, you can get involved with humanitarian aid and find greater financial freedom at the same time. Trivani’s business plan offers payouts at the top of the industry, as well as extra incentives to keep you moving forward and progressing. And the best part is that anyone can get involved!
Making a significant difference in the world is easier than you think. Let Trivani help you find your purpose, and together we can build a better, brighter future.

---------------------

I want to make a difference in my life with the things that I do…I wonder if I wasted 3 years of my life, I wonder???

I have decided to start replacing my personal hygiene products with Trivani products so that just by buying from Trivani what I buy everyday, I can make a difference. Not only to others all across the world, but in my own family’s personal health. All of these products are completely safe.

You see, as I sit here on this beautiful Sabbath Day, I realize that I don’t want to waste any more time to make a difference.

Please take a minute and watch this youtube video about what these products are doing for others….( I have included a few more links for more videos).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVxe_P0IUek&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGYZVS-Gh9I&feature=related

The above video touches me so much as I see my friends interacting and working in these impoverished areas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G3an2-n11k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn5MhqbRuz0

real live footage of people making a difference….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKhSa5N9_1M&feature=related


After you watch these, PLEASE forward this email to as many of your contacts in your emails, facebooks, myspaces as you can…..I want to feel better about the time I am using in my life, I know that you do too, this one small email can help so many.

If you too want to buy your personal hygiene products from Trivani, go to their website http://trivani.us/ and order. The shampoos, toothpastes, mouthwash, deodorant, etc. are so safe for you and your family, more safe them anything else you can buy.

If you have any questions at all, feel free to contact me.

Friday, July 25, 2008

gg goes to college - an exercise for my Organizational Comm class

1. Where were you born? (Town and state). Beech Grove, Indiana

2. How many people are in your family? Where do you fit in? My father was killed in a race car when I was 11 months old, my mom was preg with my brother, she didn’t remarry until I was a Sr in High school….so there was always three people in my family….I was the oldest child and only girl.

3. What is it about your hometown, family and roots, or upbringing that brings you the most joy, pride, or satisfaction? That my father was an INDY race car driver and that we still have those associations today. As a matter of fact, I met my husband because of the Indy 500, and we are going back this May 2009, for the 30th anniversary of when we met.

4. What would you say has been your greatest achievement or accomplishment during your lifetime? Birthing the last two of my six children at home.

5. What would you say has been or will be your greatest weakness or challenge you have overcome or will have to overcome during your lifetime? Once I overcome, overeating, that WILL be the greatest achievement of my lifetime. If food were alcohol, I would be a drunk. I use food to cope with my negative life challenges. I am in the process of working hard to change that.

6. What are some of your favorite hobbies, interests, and talents? Watching my kids or husband do their thing, anthropology, aquariums (I have two), birthing, breastfeeding, writing.

7. What is your favorite soft drink, food, and dessert?
A. Soft drink - pepsi other drink -grape Kool-Aid
B. Food – BBQ pork ribs, baked potato, really good salad
C. Dessert – chocolate cake batter ice cream at Cold Stone

8. What is your all-time favorite movie? Why? – Probably Dances with Wolves, I am not sure why as I hate the way the Indians are treated, I hate the way that it doesn’t work out, I really don’t fund it a happy movie at all, but I LOVE the grandeur, the music and sweeping panoramas, the up close look at the Indian people.

9. What is your school major, specific career choice, and what would be your ideal job?

A. School major – integrated studies – business/communication with a leadership distinction

B. Career choice – athletic director at a small NCAA d-3 or d-2 school

C. Ideal job – to be doing what I was doing, general manager for a college or pro hockey team

10. Up to this point of your life, what job has given you the most enjoyment or satisfaction? Why? If you are really talking about job, then hands down, UVSC Hockey GM, omgosh, the thrill of working hard, traveling all over, meeting players and then this time of year, helping them get settled, seeing them arrive, watching the first practices, seeing what the pieces are going to look like, seeing what they look like on the ice and watching all of that equate into success that I and the Head Coach worked so hard at…that is a remarkable feeling. -- If you are talking about volunteer jobs, then being a momma and gg, there is nothing cooler, more fun, really awesome.....

11. Out of all the people in the world who have lived or are presently living, what person do you admire more than anyone else? Why? My great grandmother, because she never stopped believing in me or loving me, even when it appeared that I deserved neither.

12. What one "word, animal, or object" would your friends and family use to describe you? Why? – Bobcat, cause I have been a fighter since the day I was born, good thing too, as I usually had/have cause to fight.

Love, momma, gg, and grape Kool-Aid


It doesn’t matter how much you love your parent, what matters is how much they feel loved….


So the other day, I was leaving the house and I just checked deep in the mailbox like I always do and I felt a thick envelope. I pulled it out and it was to me from Abby.


She sent me two 5-packs of grape Kool-Aid with a note that said that she knew I was having hard time and that she knew how much I LOVE grape Kool-Aid. She wanted me to know that she was thinking of me and that she loved me.


I taped one of the 5-packs to the wall next to my desk to remind me that everything is ok, that this too shall pass…meaning my recent difficulties.


A few days later Paul was here and he said, we gave that, pointing to the Kool-Aid, to gg. I said yes, I got it in the mail and I LOVE it. He was pleased, but I found it curious that he had not put me and sending gg something in the mail, as the same person, even though he calls me gg.… lol!


Oh, and remember dear children that guilt is what makes the world go round!


Haha!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Marriage Prayer


Lord, help us to remember
when we first met,
the strong love
that grew between us.

Help us To see the good
within the other,
and find answers to our problems.

Help us to say kind
and loving words,
and make us big enough
to ask forgiveness of the other.

Lord, Help us as we put our marriage
Into Your hands.

20 Things That We Love About Winter


1. she plays with me
2. she jumps with me a lot
3. she plays xbox with me a lot
4. she loves me
5. her smile
6. her pretty eyes
7. her laugh
8. how we can always depend on her to help
9. she will always do the right thing
10. she is a hard worker
11. she is smart
12. she has common sense
13. she wants to learn how to drive
14. when people are mean to her, she is forgiving
15. Her dimples
16. Her curls
17. the way she plays with babies
18. she is always so sunny
19. she is very patient
20. she is the baby daughter

The Measure of a Man -



"The measure of a man's life is in how well he strives to overcome his personal problems. Neither his temporary failures nor life’s unfair reversals or tragedies, and especially not his death, however untimely it seems, negates the value of his personal triumphs. They will go on forever - for him, for those who love him, and for all who follow after."
---Yorgason and Yorgason

The Love Between a Mother and a Daughter


The Love between a Mother and a Daughter is Forever...

The love between a mother and a daughter is a bond of the strongest kind.

It is a love of the present, interwoven with memories of the past and dreams of the future.

It is strenghthened by overcoming obstacles and facing fears and challanges together.

It is having pride in each other and knowing that our love can withstand anything.

It is sacrifice and tears, laughter and hugs.

It is understanding, patience, and believing in each other.

It is wanting only the best for each other and wanting to help anytime there is a need.

It is respect, a hug, and unexpected kindness.

It is an unconditional, forever kind of love.

quoted from Barbera Cage

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Paul negotiates



One of the things I love the most about my life right now is grandbabies…I am not sure why, as I am a completely overwhelmed mom somedays to Tuff, Winter and Hope. Then the rest of them still need a mom but in different ways. Owen Abby and Sara are all very challenging children to mother in their adulthood, each with unique and varied needs.

I would have thought that I am a doting gg, but actually I see myself much more relaxed with my gbs (grandbabies) than I ever was with my own kids. Except for the time we lost Paul at the lake and I was frantically looking for him and terrified that I would be the one to find him face down in the lake. About that situation, I was willing to do that to save dear Abby from being the one to find him face down. Just to let you know, we found him breathing, dry and playing and all was good.

Back to my post… Paul (3 yrs old) spent the night last night and he actually did quite good. Instead of studying like I should have, I watched a movie with him and Tuff and I had a pillow right next to me on the couch and Paul fell asleep on it and he only woke up once in the night and went right back to sleep with a movie. This morning he woke up all sweet and it was so fun to see him sleepy eyed and happy. Spud had offered to get donuts and he did and Paul was really excited about that. He ate a few bites of scrambled eggs and then he wanted his donut. I said to him, Paul east two more bites of your eggs and then you can have your donut and he looks at me and says, “well, how bout four more?” I had to laugh as this was the exact same reasoning that Sara used when she was that age….life is a circle, round and round we go, always changing and evolving, but somehow we still find ourselves and the same places sometimes, just with different people.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

gg goes to college - Ethics - ethical problem I have faced


Ethical Question
I am drawn like a moth to the flame, I don’t want to look, shouldn’t look, but I have to look. Click here and a scroll there. 37 posts, damn, up two from yesterday. Again I don’t want to look, shouldn’t look, but I have to.

“Fat Lisa, you are out, you are a thief, you don’t know what you are talking about. Your husband can’t coach worth a damn! You stole team money and you are out and I am glad you are out.”

I don’t want to be hurt but I am. I am hurt and angry and outraged. I want to hurt someone really bad. I want to post my own post. I want to call them fat, I want to say fat people shouldn’t call others fat. But I don’t. Several times I click on the reply button, the window pops up, I start to type, then I hit the cancel x.

I want to reply so badly, I want to fight my fight, I want to defend myself. But I don’t, am I a coward? I never have been before, but I don’t know how to fight this fight, these people don’t care any more about decency, civility or even right and wrong. Oh sure, they feel that they are right AND justified. But omg! It hurts and I want to HURT someone NOW!

Next post, “Owen you are out and so stupid, you don’t count, you are out along with your thieving parents”. My gut hurts, my heartburn creeps, my head aches and my rage boils. How can people treat others this way, what dos this have to do with hockey? If you don’t like the coach ok, but what in the hell does this have to do with a hockey team?

Can I have someone work them, over? I can really see him now with two black eyes swollen and hurting and only open to little slits. I know I can stalk them and slash their tires. I can make a fake myspace and tell their daughter that she is ugly. I can call their Bishop and tell them that the son that just put in his papers was drinking and partying and having sex.

But no, I turn away from the screen and them. I swallow whatever it is that is asking me, telling me, screaming at me for action. I swallow it and I turn away.

In my last ditch attempt to be civilized, to respond to these accusations like a real human being. I hire a lawyer and at the cost of $18,000 I sue them for defamation of character. Slander all you want to little man and family. I will have my day in court. I will choose civility. I will choose decency. I will choose to walk with my head up, knowing that I NEVER stooped to your level. I WILL have my day in court and you will sit there across from me and the court and 12 of our peers will vindicate me and show you that there is a law that says you can’t hurt people by telling lies as fact.

gg goes to college - English freewrite paper

Freewrite -January 28, 2008
Ask anyone on the street today if they feel safe in their own country and they would probably say yeah, I feel pretty safe”. Ask them if they felt safer pre-9-11 and they would say, I felt a lot safer before 9-11”.

Would re-instating the draft cause anyone to feel safer? A large and potent military would be able to accomplish more in our struggle to bring terrorist cells in the middle east to justice. Yet, at the same time, re-instating the draft will bring a lot of people into the military who clearly would not want to be there. If you need to be compelled to do a job, you usually don’t do it well. These reluctant soldiers would waste time and resources.

Yet, I want to feel safe in my own country! Ask anyone on the street if they feel that there are those that are plotting the destruction of the American people and p[rotary, you would hear a resounding, “Yes!”
What then is the answer?

Is the answer more troops, less troops, leaving the Middle East all together with a massive pull-put? The answer is not to force a lot of people to do what they don’t want to do. It is an interesting thing to hear that many of us believe that there are terrorists with plans not yet carried out, yet these same people are calling for troop pull-out.

Is our generation such that we are used to so many easy ways that many of us do not want to work or fight to protect our way of life? Haven’t we learned through our experiences with school yard bullies that the huge majority of the time there is no reasoning with them? When those same school yard bullies add into their minds the ideals of religion that encourage and support and excuse the destruction of another human life, then that is enough for me to realize that the ability to reason with this kind of person has long gone.

gg goes to college - English paper - Aim to entertain

Ahhh marriage, something that I think that I know about…or do I?

How can I say that I know about marriage when I did not grow up in a marriage? For instance, I never saw a husband and wife fight, does that matter? Well, when I fight with my husband, is it always the end of the world? I think so!

I never saw a husband and wife make-up, so does every make-up have to be dynamic and fairy–taleish?

Do married couples stop having sex? If so, when? Do they have to? Who cares?

Did not growing up in a marriage hurt my marriage?
Aim-inquire

The ladies my age in my neighborhood are just that, ladies. They have all cut their hair short, they wear frumpy clothes and flat shoes, no longer wear make-up and appear for all intent to have left being feminine and sensual far behind.

At the ripe old age of fifty, they have given up the ghost, rolled up their knee high hose and became matronly. Bah! Women in the late forties are rumored to be in a sexual surge! Well, not in my neighborhood!

Am I destined to be the only non-lady in my neighborhood enjoying a rich, wonderful, crazy, sex life? Well, it appears so!

gg goes to college- 1st Public Speaking Speach - My Eulogy

Today I am here at the end of a very long journey, today I am here to say good bye to Lisa Lynn Packard Beaudry. She finished her life as she lived her life, full of passion, love and exuberance.

She was my friend, confidant, co-worker and I would have it no other way. Lisa epitomized the phrase, ‘a friend doesn’t chastise you for being arrested, she says Wow, what a crazy night!’

Lisa was a funny, talented, fun loving person. She was also one of the most caring individuals that I have ever met. She was truly there for those she loved and once you were in her circle, you were in.

Lisa was there for so many people, she spent her money on those that were needy, she would give money to the panhandlers, to the neighborhood kids and she forgave anyone for making a mistake that they were too ignorant to understand the outcome. But, she would always hold you accountable for your mistakes.

I have never met a more passionate person. She loved and loved deeply, she worked hard at everything she did and she worked hard for those she loved. She had a favorite quote that she often thought of, it is from Wayne Gretzsky, “=="The highest compliment that you can pay me is to say that I work hard every day, that I never dog it."

She started her life the young baby girl of a race car driver who adored her for the short eleven months that he was alive. That made trouble for each and every man that followed him as she would measure them all to that short eleven months of being the apple of a man’s eye.

Due to her fathers occupation as a race car driver she grew up in race tracks and her love of racing, especially the sprints on a high banked dirt track, never waned. She fancied herself to be a race car driver of sorts and if fate had granted a different twist, I wouldn’t have been surprised to see her racing sprints, stocks and Indy cars herself. She enjoyed a good race until the day she died and I am sure that she has made arrangements to see a few more in the next life.

Lisa’s love of racing came from a true competitive spirit and it was this competitiveness that fueled much of her life.

There was one man after Lisa’s father that she was crazy about; Matt Beaudry, she nicknamed him ‘Bo’, after a playful turn of events concerning the girl that introduced them.

They would make their family shake their heads in wonder as it was obvious when ever they were together that the deep love they shared. They just never seemed to live together in peace.

Lisa and Bo had six children and together they raised them in love and respect. That was what made Lisa different from the huge majority of mothers in the world. She had a profound respect for her children. She treated her children as she would have wanted to be treated. She adored her children and grandbabies and loved to be called gg.

Lisa was a different kind of gg, no knitting or baking for her, in her later years she enjoyed taking her grandbabies with her on trips and vacations. She loved to engage her family in long intelligent conversations and she expected her girls and grandbaby girls to be smart and intelligent and well read. Lisa involved all of her family in her life and her doings.

As her youngest child ‘Tuffy’ was growing up she began her career with hockey. She got started managing hockey teams to help out Bo, but was quickly drawn in to the rough and graceful sport. Lisa immensely enjoyed the time that she and Bo worked hard and started and developed the team at Utah Valley University. She was forever proud of her time as a Wolverine.
Lisa didn’t stop there with hockey, she went on to be a consultant to many college and minor league teams and was grateful for very minute.

Here are a just a few of Lisa’s lifelong accomplishments;

a. She was an Olympic level archer, at one time won a contest against the archer, Daryyl Pace who went on to win a gold medal in the Olympics.

b. Even though she had originally flunked out of high school as a junior, she was able to attend day high school and night high school (full time at each) to earn her high school diploma with her graduating class.

c. She enlisted in the Marine Corps.

d. She scored a prefect score on the ASVAB, the entrance exam for the Armed Services. Because of this she was able to graduate boot camp as a Private First Class, instead of just a Private.

e. She graduated Marine Corps Boot camp. She would say about herself - ‘not so lean, not so mean, but always proud to be a Marine.’ After boot camp she was M-16 qualified as a ‘Marksman”

f. Started a small business of selling Avon cosmetics and became a state leading sales rep and promoted to a regional sales supervisor.

g. Started another small business in the printing industry and had sales in the first year of nearly two –hundred fifty thousand.

h. Started another small business of in home lingerie sales and became a state sales leader, and was promoted to a supervisor and won two trips for her and Bo, one to Rio de Janiero and the other to Hawaii.

i. Lisa realized, accepted and started the process to overcome her deep fear of birth, realizing enough knowledge, strength and courage to progress to having 3 children at home, the last of which was an 11 pound surprise breech birth.

j. She successfully navigated and managed a family while her husband went through three years of unemployment and retraining from his printing services career to a firefighting/paramedic services career.

k. She maintained a working farm with 5 kids, 2 cows, 1 horse, 4 pigs, 4 sheep, 10-15 goats, 50 chickens, 6 ducks, 20 rabbits, 3 dogs, 3 cats, etc, all while her husband was away at fire school in Denver 3 hours away and only allowed to come home on most, not all, weekends. This was for the Period from Jan 20th – May 30th. At this time she also became pregnant with Winter.

l. Lisa moved her family across country three times.

m. She routinely canned 500 quarts of food for her family each fall.

n. She started another small business in Provo of two shaved ice stands, Lisa’s Snow Shack, that employees family and brings in a extra three to four thousand a summer.

o. She enrolled in her first semester at UVSC as a full-time student for Spring 08 and earned a 3.9 gpa.

p. Lisa kept a youthful/healthy appearance and attitude her entire life.

Lisa finished her Doctorate when she was 57 years old. She taught college students for much of the rest of her life. Her favorite classes to teach were ones that caused her students to think about, learn from and better their own lives.

I know that my life is certainly better for having known her.

Our Children - Our Posterity

A Daughter –
Mirrors mom, manipulates dad,
Flirts, puts, hugs and dreams,
Moistens your eyes,
Stretches your patience
Yet – makes you
Grateful to GodShe’s your daughter

A Son –
Carries your name,
Squares your shoulders,
Binds your heart,
Renews your sense of
Humor, and keeps
You on yourKnees.

Living A Legacy –

All that we are, will pass on to our children-
our loves, our hopes, our dreams, our character.

Therefore, let our thoughts be planted in rich soil and
let our actions stand tall in a child’s eyes.

Just as fruit does not fall far from the tree, children do not
Stray far from their heroes.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I hate to have regret




The last time I watched him coach, I never thought to myself that this would be the last time that I see him coach. Over there on the bench, looking so fine in his suit, so immersed in what he is doing. He is a real student of the game and he loves hockey.
Sometimes I am filled with despair, sometimes with sadness and sometimes with hope. Maybe this will work out, maybe he will coach again, maybe the administration will realize what they are missing out on. But probably it won’t work out, the team will be hurt too deeply, there won’t be the depth, there won’t be the support. Admin has said, ‘we never asked for a hockey team’.

Maybe there is another team somewhere that he can be a part of. A team that needs a real leader, a good coach, a team that wants a caring individual, not just some screaming idiot.

Who knows, but for today, there is just sadness and regret…..

I hate to have regret, the last time I saw him play, I missed his goal, I was too busy talking hockey to someone else. In my mind he would always be playing and I wouldn't have to pay close attention tonight.

That night he scored a goal, so slick and rich...and I missed it. Now he won't be playing college again. I didn't know, if I had known I would have paid attention, I would not have let my eyes wander from his grace, his strength and coolness on the ice.

Maybe he will play college hockey again.

Who knows, but for today, there is only sdness and regret....

I didn't know that I would never see her floor routine again, I didn't know, I hate regret. If I had known that she would never scream across that floor and hurl herself in the air with the strength of an ox and the weight of a feather, I would have watched.

I would have never let my eyes leave her frame and I would have studied each and very move on the balance beam, so serious, so steady. I would have cheered as she catapulted herself over the vault.... these things I know will never happen again.

And today for never being able to watch her do those things again, I have only sadness and regret.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Father's Day 2008

Good day, hot day, the whole family was here in various moods and with varying amounts of love. Spud (grandpa??? I am NOT calling him grandpa) and I took Nona (Avery) to the store with us. First to Sam's Club then to Smith's. Funny, funny little girl with tons of attitude. I enjoyed having her with us and so did Bo. It was also just nice to be with my husband. The three of us had a good time.

After a good BBQ of Brats and side dishes we talked and enjoyed all of our children's company. Nice peaceful day.

As it was getting dark, Nona wanted to get in the tub and Spud volunteered gg to get in with her, yet as I eased my tired chubby bod down into the luxery of a hot bath, Nona changed her mind. Then here comes Paul streaking in.

As I scrubbed his skin I told him that we had to scrub his face, neck, front and back and shoulders. If we didn't scrub all of the dirt off, I told him, potatoes would grow in the dirt on his neck!

Flashback to 40 years ago when my Grandma Vannote told me the same thing. Seated on the toilet in the bathroom, right next to the tub, she would scrub and scrub. I told Paul that my gg told me that too and that she would scrub and scrub until I felt raw, but it also felt so good! Then I would fall sound asleep and I told Paul that I never have slept as good as in the bed my gg made me.

I also told Paul that each and everynight at my Grandma Vannotes was always the same bathtime scrubbing and then I stopped. I realized that it was not the same, the last few years that I stayed at her house, before she moved into the assisted living cnter, she asked me to scrub her back and to help her. I was filled with sadness as I realized that I was not there for her like she needed me to be, I started to cry, I loved her so very much and yet I had no clue what was expected of me back then as a tender child.

Yet as tears feel down my face, I was careful with myself and I knew that I did the best I could with what I had and that hopefully she is looking down on me. She knows that I did the best that I could and I know that she loves me still.

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed